This information is all about why you feel lost and what to do about it. I will share some reasons why you may have lost your sense of identity and give you some simple solutions you can integrate now. Let’s dive right in!
You don't live in the now. Life is full of ups and downs and when life isn’t feeling all happy and carefree, it’s so easy for us to …
Look at the past to comfort and happiness. The good old days. You are so confused that you've lost your connection to your sense of self that you make it seem like your past holds all the answers to reconnecting to your happiness even if… if you were honest about the past… it came with it’s own set of challenges and struggles.
As humans, we aren't supposed to be stuck in the past. We should be evolving, growing, and changing and unfortunately some of our biggest leaps may come through pressure or friction. Think diamonds or pearls.
In alignment with not living in the present, you are always guilty of looking ahead. I know I'm guilty of this. So focused on the future that I get the “what’s next fever”. Is this you, too?
Or maybe you are guilty of trying to chase the next new thing to find happiness only to find it never works because happiness is usually not created from feeling numb or lost or disconnected inside.
Here’s a big one. You don’t have a set of meaningful values to live by. Either you never had any or you find yourself confused because you do what your mother or your father or society tells you to do rather than developing your own beliefs and guiding principles upon which you act.
This causes you to feel lost because you don’t know who you are and may not have ever known who you are. Or, like I mentioned earlier, through life’s ups and downs, you change and this could mean that your core values may have shifted and therefore need to be reevaluated but you may be still trying to connect to outdated beliefs that no longer serve you.
You allow yourself to get stuck in the comfort zone. Being the same person at 18 as you were at 10 is just as foolish as being the same person at 30 as you were when you were 21-22 years old. Let that one sink in. And how this sneaks up on you is insidious… you don’t want to meet new friends, you take the same vacations year after year… you are stuck!
Part of that could be related to feelings of lack of self worth. You hope for more but maybe your lack of supportive relationships, life stressors, or other trauma or loss have beaten you down so bad that you just shut down.
There is hope!
I will share this information in other posts/videos but until then, here are three things that you can try now to help you.
Mindfulness Exercises- I love meditation for this. My favorite ones to bring the presence into the now is via a quick and easy type of meditation called a body scan meditation. I have one available for free that can help you and it’s approximately 5 minutes long.
To connect with your values, here are a few questions you could use as journaling prompts.
What are you most proud of?
What makes you angry?
What makes you happy?
What’s important to you in life?
It’s kinda morbid, but what is the legacy you want to leave behind once you are gone? What accomplishments are important to you?
Don’t overthink this, these questions could help you figure out what your current personal values are.
3. If you find yourself feeling stuck, acknowledge that as you learned in physics, it takes a lot of energy to move from a place of inertia to movement, so be kind to yourself and think of one thing you could start doing to start to move you forward, no matter how small. Start doing that think ASAP. Go slow but take small baby steps to incorporate the activity little by little. Reward yourself when you show up for yourself at least 80% of the time.
Think about it… You could make big shifts in a month just by choosing yourself… imperfectly.
20 something days out of a month done consistently adds up to increased momentum and powerful changes.
If you are reading this and would like help doing some internal work to shift into the best version of yourself where you know what your values are and you are connected to a purpose and living that purpose in life, I have some slots open for you to apply to a totally free discovery call and we can talk about if you think private coaching would be the right fit for you. You can learn more about private coaching and sign up for a free call here.